The Missing Quill
by gigixxjadyn
Summary: Harry and Hermione are on the search for a quill, Ron doesn't know that. Eavesdropping, cabinets, Potions, and one bothersome feathery writing utensil. R&R! Oneshot, no pairings


**My first fanfic! No ships or pairings, just a for-fun-fic. Enjoy! -dramatically pulls open curtains-**

Edited on 1/21/08

_Disclaimer: Not mine._

_----- _

"The correctly made potion should be runny and pale blue in color. Nonetheless, bottle whatever concoction you have brewed and bring it to the front desk!" sneered Severus Snape, as he walked through the aisles peering disgustedly into the cauldrons.

"Finch-Fletchley, don't even bother," Snape waved his wand and Justin peered forlornly into the empty and spotless cauldron.

"Longbottom. Have you no ounce of competency in that abnormally shaped head of yours? Abysmal," he muttered and again, cleaned the cauldron of all its contents. Neville trembled visibly and clumsily tried to pack away his things.

"That greasy overgrown sallow-faced bat! How dare he…" glared Ron, just barely keeping his temper in check with a not-so-subtle jab from Hermione's elbow. Snape walked by.

"Five points from Gryffindor. For being tactless as well as clueless," announced Snape, as he looked into Ron's lumpy greenish potion. Ron continued staring daggers at the back of Snape's head, his face the color of a not-quite-ripe pomegranate.

As the students hurriedly brought up bottles of various colorings up to his desk, the bell rang for lunch and Ron elatedly ran out of the dank room of the dungeons and towards the Great Hall, hoping that the indulgence of food would abate his mood. Much of the class had a similar idea and Hermione, after bottling her perfect potion of course, followed eagerly, but noticed that Harry was still bent over the desk, appearing to be looking for something.

"What's got you spending more time than needed in the potion's room Harry?" she questioned.

"My quill!!! You know, the really nice eagle-feather one Ginny got for me last Christmas, I just realized that it's missing! Oh bloody hell!" He searched feverishly around their working space.

"I'll help, I wasn't planning on spending long for lunch anyways, was going to get a start on my Arithmancy project, but it's not due for a few weeks." She bent down on the floor and joined Harry in searching for the quill.

-----

Meanwhile in the Great Hall, Ron was halfway through a chicken leg and some mashed potatoes before he realized his missing friends.

"Hey Neville, have you seen Harry or Hermione anywhere?"

"Um, well I think I saw Harry looking for something right before I left…" he replied, downing some pumpkin juice.

Ginny spoke up. "Hermione probably just stayed back to help him, Ron, or gone straight to the library. That's what she told me she had planned this next hour anyways. They can take care of themselves. And for Merlin's sake, close your mouth while you're eating! No one needs to see the wonders of the human mouth!!"

Ron rolled his eyes at Ginny. "Spending too much time around Hermione…" he muttered, as he shrugged it off and went back to devouring his lunch.

-----

Meanwhile, neither Harry nor Hermione had found the quill.

"Well, you only realized that you didn't have it this period, maybe you lost it earlier today?" suggested Hermione.

"Yeah, probably. We had Transfiguration before this…"

"Yes Harry, I know you want me to help you look, don't bother with your unsubtle hints," she smiled. Harry grinned sheepishly and they ran to McGonagall's classroom, hoping to make it back in time for lunch. And in Hermione's case, some studying.

-----

"But Ginnnyy, they're still not here! I'm gonna go find them! Wouldn't want them to be late to their next class!" declared Ron.

"Yes Ron, because Hermione would allow Harry, let alone herself, to be late to a class. Stop making excuses for wanting to see her," sighed Ginny with a bit of exasperation. She turned to her sixth-year friends as Ron left the Great Hall and made a beeline for the potion's room.

-----

"Ok, so you sat here in Transfiguration and the cabinet up there in the front of the room is where we got our supplies today. Sooo, let's search your seat first? The cabinet will probably take longer," deducted Hermione, as they began scouring the Transfiguration room.

-----

As Ron ran into the potion's room, he huffed upon seeing it empty, and had no idea as to where they may have gone. Walking back to the Great Hall, he peeked in and noticed that they still had not arrived, and lunch was a little past half way over. Deciding to try the library next, he saw the corner of Snape's billowing robe in front of him. Not wanting another encounter with the vindictive Potion's master, he wanted to slow a bit, but heard familiar voices up ahead. Then Snape.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor for fornicating in a classroom!" he shouted, as he passed the Transfiguration room. Ron barely stopped himself from toppling over. His ears quickly gaining color, he thought back to lunch.

"Harry and Hermione were the only ones in our year missing from lunch today… No, this is bloody ridiculous, Hermione would never… It's just someone from Ginny's year. Yeah, that's it," he tried to reassure himself as he walked-ran-stumbled to the entryway of the Transfiguration room and hope with all the hope he had that it was not his best friends.

-----

Ron heard Hermione first.

"Bloody Snape. If only McGonagall were here. She'd be of help," she mused before continuing. "Now how about over there next? I think it's better than the previous two places."

Then Harry. "Ok!"

Ron's eyes widened and footsteps and furniture being moved was heard. They started talking again, Harry first.

"'k, I'll go here, and you can go here, sound good?"

"Sure. So, what does it look like?"

"Well, it's about this big, a little larger than others… But the tip of it is just slightly bent from that one time in Transfiguration…" Hermione laughed.

"Then I don't think it would fit in here, but I'll try anyways."

"How about right there?"

"You mean here?"

"Yup."

"Ok. Ow ow ow ow!! Jeez, be careful Harry!" Hermione cried as she sucked on something Ron did not even want to think about.

"I'm sorry!!!"

"Don't worry, it's fine now, common, we don't have much time left."

Ron was an interesting color of greenish red as he almost fell over in disbelief. And they weren't even finished!

"Oh, I have an idea, let's switch spots, you go here, and I'll go here," suggested Harry.

"Alright, maybe that'll work better, even though I'm pretty sure I've got that spot covered."

"Well a second time won't hurt."

"If you say so," Ron heard Hermione say, as more shuffling was heard. Hermione spoke again. "Wait, is this…?"

"Yes, that's it!!" Harry shouted.

Ron felt his face turn an interesting multitude of colors and his lunch about to fly back up. Before it had a chance to, he burst into the classroom with his eyes shut tightly and hands over them just in case, and began yelling.

"NO! There will **NOT** be a SECOND TIME of ANYTHING and NO that's not IT!!! _What the bloody hell_!?!?!? How bloody **INDECENT** can you get!?! Oh, let's just skip lunch so we can go off and _DO IT LIKE BUNNIES_ in the bloody TRANSFIGURATION classroom!!!!" Ron exploded, panting after saying the nicer version of his thoughts in one breath.

Hermione and Harry looked at each other, confusion and disbelief etched on their faces. Ron thought that was enough to continue.

"So now you're playing _dumb_?!? What, did you shag each others' brains out!?!?!"

Hermione finally regained her composure. "Ronald Bilius Weasley, WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU YELLING ABOUT!?!?"

Harry and Ron temporarily glanced at each other with brows raised, as they heard Hermione swear. Ron spoke up again.

"How do you _do_ each other and NOT KNOW?! Please, INFORM ME!!"

Harry's face was pricelessly confused. "Why would you think THAT!?"

"Hm, let's see, and I BLOODY WELL QUOTE!!"

"Sure. So, what does it look like?" he mimicked in a high falsetto voice.

"Well, it's about this big, a little larger than others…Bent at the tip from that one time in Transfiguration" Ron then said in a low voice, before shuddering.

"Then I don't think it would fit in here, but I'll try anyways," he finished, back in the falsetto.

Sound FAMILIAR???" Ron glowered after his imitations of the previous conversation he'd heard.

"Oh, and there's also the "position switching" and screaming of "oh that's it!!" too!!!!!" He added, as a final touch.

Harry and Hermione looked at each other, and Ron smiled, satisfied, as he thought they would begin groveling in apology and explanation. Instead, much to his dismay, he heard laughter. Lots of it. It started out as just Hermione, and then soon after Harry joined, and soon they were in hysterics. Ron's eyes were the size of apples and his mouth wide enough to fit an owl.

"WHAT'S SO DAMN FUNNY!?!?!" he shouted.

Finally, the two of them were able to come to a reasonable stop, and panting, Hermione began.

"Ron, Harry realized that his QUILL was missing after Potions," she paused and laughed some more so Harry continued.

"Hermione agreed to help me, so after having no luck in the Potion's classroom, we then tried the area where I sat in Transfiguration the hour before," Harry smiled, his eyes alight with amusement.

"Then, I suggested that Harry and I search the SUPPLY CABINET for his missing quill, but then we each had no luck on our respective sides,"

"So we switched, thinking that maybe we'd missed something," finished Harry.

"And sure enough, I found the quill, which caused Harry to shout in excitement, not ecstasy, Ron," Hermione finished, a smile on her face.

Ron nearly deflated with relief, but just to be sure, he asked another question.

"What the hell were you sucking on and why did something hurt?!?!" The two of them again fell into laughter.

"He," Hermione laughed, "stepped on," she paused to take a breath, "my finger!!" and she gave up and continued laughing.

"And so she…"

"Oh," Ron interrupted. "I get it." Hermione looked at him expectantly. Very quietly under his breath, he spoke, "I'm sorry for making the snap judgments that anyone would have made in my position." She frowned.

"Okay!!! I'm sorry for not trusting you two!!" Satisfied, the three of them began on their way to the Great Hall for the lunch that Harry and Hermione had not yet eaten, smiles on their faces even as they passed Malfoy.

"Had fun with Potty doing the horizontal mambo, eh Granger?" he asked them derisively.

"It was hot and steamy Malfoy, we should all get together sometime!" replied Hermione, as she winked seductively. Malfoy raised a brow and as he walked away, suggesting that she should "invite the Weasel to the golden love-fest" with a touch of more profanity at the end. The three continued walking to the Great Hall when Ron spoke up.

"So Hermione, since we cleared that up, do you maybe… want to…"  
"NO Ronald," she replied with a shake of her head.

_-fin-_

**Hope you liked! Reviews would be wonderful. (:**

**Much loves,**

**Jadyn**


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